AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MAN ON PERSHORE ROAD WHO STOOD THERE AS I WALKED PAST NODDING AND SAYING “OOH VERY NICE, YEAH, VERY CUTE”

Excuse me Mr Man, but i am not here to look ‘cute’ for you. I did not get dressed this morning with the intention of gaining random male pedestrians approval of whether i’m looking good enough or cute enough for them as i walk to town to hand out CV’s.

I don’t care whether I look cute or not. What does it even mean to look cute, dogs are cute.

How did you even expect me to react? 

“Oh thank you that’s so kind of you to notice that i tried so hard to look cute today because that was exactly what i was doing when i got ready this morning.”

its a hair flip its whatever

No. No thank you Mr Man. I’m not here for you to look at and your opinion on how i look today doesn’t matter even in the slightest. I’m not an object that’s here to look pretty, I have a brain, and i used that brain to answer back to you which i don’t think you expected. Not sure what you even expected.

I didn’t let his comment pass, i turned around and said “What? Do you realize how disrespectful that is?!” He then started shouting at me and i didn’t want to waste any more of my time on this idiot of a man so i just walked away.

I then started to feel bad about how i reacted to the man, i remember thinking “maybe i was too harsh? he was just giving me a compliment?!”  NO. What else was i meant to do, that was my natural reaction. Its not acceptable for things like that to happen.

If it was a compliment i would of felt undermined and disrespected, i would of smiled politely and said thank you.

But no.

No thank you, Mr Man.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT IM DOING WITH MY LIFE”

I really like the fact that the rest of my life is a mystery. How exciting. I’d hate it to be all planned out.

I always hear people my age saying things like “I don’t know what to do with my life”

I always think, no one does, everyone has a rough idea but that doesn’t mean it will happen. Life throws stuff at you that you won’t expect and it will change your course completely.

Just make sure you make good decisions. Don’t start shooting up heroin everyday outside lidl.

Everything will fall into place. Stop worrying about it.

CONSTANT BATTLE

One side of me wants to be really successful and have a great career etc and the other side of me wants to live in a caravan with friends growing my own food and being free.

I am worried that on my deathbed ill regret what I did in my life. I don’t want to spend too much time working for money. Money means nothing when you die except from your relatives who benefit from your success. The one thing that you take with you are your memories.

I don’t want to spend my life working for money that I’m going to spend on the latest TV or the newest iPhone I want to have lots of amazing experiences.

Then again, you can’t have those experiences without having money.

Maybe I should just get really successful and then spend the rest of my life living off the money I’ve earned travelling around the world.

Easier said than done.

I think the trick is to just go with the flow. Everything in life is connected. The point is to know it and understand it.

Everything will work out somehow.

RIP AMY WINEHOUSE

I can’t believe it’s been two years since Amy died. I remember the day so clearly, I was visiting my dad in hospital, who was pretty much on his death bed, and saw the news sprawled all over twitter, I went and brought numerous newspapers and magazines which had features on her from the hospital shop. I sat in the little hospital room with my dad and read them.

I was absolutely gutted for her family and her fans. She was and amazing singer. I remember shortly after her death Chris Moyles played her song ‘Our Day Will Come’ on Radio 1 and it was slightly haunting but gorgeous, this song still remains to be one of my favourite songs.

Recently I went to the Amy Winehouse: A Family Portrait exhibition in Camden at the Jewish Museum, it was so weird to see how she grew up and to see Amy through the eyes of her family instead of the media. It was really lovely, you could see that Amy was incredibly passionate about singing and performing right from the start.

I am currently reading the book that Mitch Winehouse wrote about Amy and it’s so sad but I can’t put it down.

I am gutted I didn’t get to see Amy performing live, R.I.P Amy xxxxxx

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?

So I finished my 3 month internship over a week ago and I have only just stopped rushing around like a headless chicken. It feels so weird having nothing to do.

So here’s what I’ve been doing.

I moved into my new house and make my room pretty and cleaned the mess from the last tenants and killed numerous amounts of bugs who were squatting here rent free. (the cheek)

Here’s a pic of my room!

I chose the room at the top of the house with massive windows looking over the street because I love people watching and because I won’t do much exercise whilst I’m at uni so it would be good for me to climb two flights of stairs every day.

A few friends came to stay to keep me company and I went to the Mailbox to see if I could go and work there whilst I’m at uni because I don’t want to waste the skills I learnt on my internship.

Now I’m trying to find a job which isn’t very successful seen as I can’t print out my CV and my house doesn’t have Internet yet. I have £1.33 to live off until I get a job or my student loan. I think this is going to be the most testing time for me this year.

Bitchy Resting Face

So, I just watched this YouTube video and I have a revelation.

I think I might have a ‘bitchy resting face.’

bitchy resting face

And I don’t give a shit. I think my bitchy resting face has developed over the past 20 years of bullshit. I think its my new no bullshit filter.

CUT THE CRAP.

I’m so glad it’s a recognized condition, I was getting worried that my face was just a bitch. I’m not a bitch, I just look like one when I don’t have an expression. It is a bit of a curse when your just chillin’ and people ask if your ok, I’m absolutely fine, my face is just resting.

Apparently I look like i’m about to cry when I have no expression. So when I am in deep thought about something or if I am just sitting there I have to be aware of how my face looks in case people think I’m about to cry, or if they think I’m in a mood.

This post is for you all you bitchy faced resting faced sufferers who face a daily struggle with their bitchy faces.

We don’t wanna walk around grinning our tits off, i’m all about the bitchy faced look.

If you wipe the bitchy faced look off my face then you know I like you.

I am a feminist.

When I started out on my internship I thought feminists were women who hated men, didn’t wear bras and didn’t shave their pits.
I have realised how idiotic I was to make that assumption.

Feminism is the belief that men and women are equal. Feminism to me means that women have choices.
they can choose to not wear a bra, women aren’t forced to wear boob cages, let them hang free, do what you want. Just because I have boobs doesn’t mean I have to wear a bra, although I will because I don’t want my nipnips making unexpected appearances.

It’s become so obvious to me that women face more barriers than men.
If a woman demands things how she wants she is labelled as a diva. You wouldn’t say that to a man who was doing things the way he wanted.

Now when I see a woman achieving something amazing or doing their own thing I love it.

U go gals.

I have been inspired by so many powerful women that I have researched.

I am overwhelmed with the fact that I have so much to learn about everything in the world, I feel so young. I have such a clean slate to do whatever I want with my life. I can go to whatever country I want, work where I want, anything.

Who run the world?